oilaway

website testers needed

2010-09-01T07:44:00.001-07:00

hey all check out this site its fab you get to make money without having to do much. Register and get your cloaked link to all you know and voila

in reference to: Web Tester (view on Google Sidewiki)

ShareASale Application Confirmation

2009-10-20T15:22:00.001-07:00

Thank you for your application to ShareASale.com. Please confirm your ShareASale application by clicking on one of the links below.

Click to Confirm

http://www.shareasale.com/manualverification.cfm?ID=KjZSXlVPKk4hSVY%2BMlowICAK1832f38369806

If you have trouble with this link, please visit http://www.shareasale.com/manualverification.cfm and manually enter in your confirmation code.

Confirmation Code: KjZSXlVPKk4hSVY+MlowICAK1832f38369806

-ShareASale.com

Converting Traffic Smarter is the Best

2009-10-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

Traffic Smarter is a new site that says it guarantees more CONVERTING web visitors and online advertising with very little effort or cost. So I decided to put it to the test...

My first impression was the site looks professional and clean, with an attractive look and feel. It is easy to read and understand. Joining the site was easy and painless--they do offer 2 upgrade options but they are not required to gain the benefits.

The Members Area is very well laid out and intuitive--I could figure out what to do after only a few minutes and was able to get up and running in less than 5 minutes. Inside the site, you create links and ads--the links you simply enter any URL links you use into the generator and it transforms them into "Traffic Smarter" links. You create ads for anything you want to promote using the Traffic Smarter Ad Generator, which is very easy to use. You can create as many links and as many ads as you like. And they are organized in a logical way--links are displayed in the order you create them but also your 5 most recent links appear on the main page for quick reference. Also, since the link generator is the tool you'll use most, it is also right at the top of the main page when you login. Very smart!

After you've created at least 1 link and 1 ad you can start to generate traffic. Just use and promote the new Traffic Smarter link instead of the original source link you had. Every time the Traffic Smarter link is clicked, the page loads followed by a cool slide-up ad window at the bottom. It displays an ad PLUS an image with your affiliate link that goes back to Traffic Smarter. So if anyone clicks the Traffic Smarter image they see the site, and if they signup they become your referral. It's a great viral feature because you can build referrals without even trying to just by using the site.

Now every time the ad window displays (your Traffic Smarter links get clicked) you earn credits that get YOUR ad displayed in the ad windows when other members' links get clicked. So the more clicks, the more times your ads get displayed.

And this works virally--meaning as you make referrals into Traffic Smarter (either by promoting it or just using it and visitors click the Traffic Smarter image on the ad window to join) you also earn ad credits on THEIR link clicks. And this works up to 5 levels deep. So you can create a massive amount of free ad views and web traffic by referring others to Traffic Smarter also.

I didn't get to test the full effect of a big downline yet (I just got the tool) but I can tell you the rest of the site works exactly as stated--my links got clicked, I earned credits, and my ads got displayed. Traffic Smarter even tracked my results so I know how many clicks and how many ad displays. That was an impressive unadvertised extra feature.

There is one more benefit and feature which might be the best of them all--downline emailing. You can email your downline with offers, promotions, or whatever you like, and here is where Traffic Smarter really shines. They took time to make the emailing often enough that it's valuable as a user, but no so often that it's a burden to your downline. But the best part about this feature (and actually the credit earning too) is that it tells you exactly how long until you can mail again. Now THAT's cool.

Overall I have to say I am impressed with Traffic Smarter. It is simple yet powerful, and delivers on its promises. Highly recommended to anyone who wants to increase traffic and advertising.

See it and join here:

http://trafficsmarter.com/links/401

Data Entry for All Stay at Home Mom's

2009-10-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

Data Entry Specialist/Home Typist Position Available
This is a legitimate work-at-home opportunity. Earn in the region of £250.00 ($470.06, €368.04) - £500.00 ($940.120, €736.084) per week, depending on whether you work part or full time. Complete training is provided and is easy to start!

Apply at: your douglaspro@hotmail.co.uk stating your location. Please only SERIOUS applicants.

Data Entry Specialist/Home Typist Position Available

2009-10-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

Data Entry Specialist/Home Typist Position Available
This is a legitimate work-at-home opportunity. Earn in the region of £250.00 ($470.06, €368.04) - £500.00 ($940.120, €736.084) per week, depending on whether you work part or full time. Complete training is provided and is easy to start!

Apply at: douglaspro@hotmail.co.uk stating your location. Please only SERIOUS applicants.

Optimizing your blog for search engines

2009-10-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

Optimizing your blog for search engines

Competition is fierce online, and the top places on the search result pages are the most hunted for; therefore, any blog owner who tries to make money on the Internet needs to use a whole strategy to attract the best visitors and the highest traffic. The working principle for the blog optimization for search engines is the keyword. When you start the race for SEO (search engine optimization), you already have an advantage: blogs are usually the ones to receive more traffic then other complex sites due to their highly informational content. By keywords we mean those sentences or structures that a user types in the search box of an engine.

Blogs mainly rely on articles that are regularly updated and re-freshened, so that they have something new to offer all the time. Before you write the blog content, you'll need to make a list with all the keywords related to your domain and which are most likely to be typed in the search box by Internet users. A brain-storming session is ideal to find the best structures you need to include in the articles; keep in mind that there are some rules you may have to follow here as well.

For instance, choosing some very general keywords is not the best way to promote a business via a blog given the fact that though you may receive a high traffic, the profit could remain modest. The explanation is very simple here: too broad terms attract all sorts of users, even those that are not interested in purchasing something. SEO experts use all sorts of parameters to check the profitability of a blog, and one of them deals precisely with the number of relevant users the web-page gets.

Once you manage to get the most high-in-demand keywords, you'll still have to do a lot of work in order to keep the blog position high in traffic. The status of keywords may change from one day to the other, given the intense competition that characterizes the Internet in general; consequently, every time you update or change the site content, you need to perform a keyword analysis beforehand and see where they stand in rankings. Last but not least, there is one thing that remains the golden rule of search engine optimization: quality informational content, that should be the essence of any successful blog!

To find out more about this contact me:
douglas1prokky@gmail.com

Make Money on the Web Stay at Home Mom's

2009-10-06T14:05:00.000-07:00

Home Based Typist/Data Entry Clerks Positions Available
We have several openings available in this area earning £250.00 ($470.06, €368.04) - £500.00 ($940.120, €736.084) each week. We are seeking only honest, self-motivated people with a desire to work in the home typing and data entry field, from the comfort of their own homes. The preferred applicants should be at least 18 years old with Internet access. No experience is needed. However the following skills are desirable: Basic computer and typing skills, ability to spell and print neatly, ability to follow directions.

Requirements: Computer with Internet access, valid email address, good typing skills. If you fit the above description and meet the requirements, please apply at douglaspro@hotmail.co.uk stating your location. Please only SERIOUS applicants.

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com/

Dating,Singles,Cams

2009-09-29T04:02:00.000-07:00

Hi if you feel lonely and you don't have a partner then you should be connecting with this site, but even if you are married and bored, you should check out my dating gold site it is great for all singles

and marrieds alike, they cater for other groups as well.

Follow my link below to logon:

http://www.datinggold.com/index.php?aid=20035

WebMasters/Dating/Cams

2009-09-29T02:56:00.000-07:00

I am looking for webmasters that are tired of having to surf sites to make money. My site dating and cams is the site to see. They pay excellent commissions for you to sign up as affiliates, and to promote their site. So come join me and lets make some serious Moolah. Login at my blogsite and take the tour. Dating and Cams is worth its weight in Gold.

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com/

Join Me at The Bar

2009-09-26T04:09:00.000-07:00

Join Me at The Bar and you could earn big while having fun on the net. It's free and you earn. no gimmicks whatsoever

I will Give you MONEY

2009-08-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

Find out how people like douglas procter are generating hundreds or even THOUSANDS of ultra-targeted visitors each week to their business or product from the world's top search engines, without paying anything for advertising, and earning commissions and bonus cash totally passively to help grow their business -- just by using this totally free system!
Quit Struggling to Get Great Visitors for FREE!

You can get an unlimited number of exact-targeted visitors from search engines, without paying a dime on advertising. I'll prove it to you with a short 7 minute video, and I've made it easy!
My System is 100% FREE! Forever!

If you can type your business name, your URL, and come up with a few keywords that relate to your business, you can benefit from my free traffic-getting system.
Best of all, it's totally "set it and forget it", and it's FREE for life!

Yes, show me the 7-minute video tour and explain exactly how I can start benefiting from your free traffic system right away and keep benefiting for LIFE!
Plus... once I've created my free account, let me in on earning $22.50 fast commissions just by GIVING this system away to others and have them thanking me for the excellent opportunity!

BONUS: I'd also like to qualify to earn bonus cash just for generating leads for MY OWN business through the new Leadgusher site you'll setup for me free.
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Full Name:
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I respect your privacy. Nobody except your referrer and will have access to the information you're providing. PERIOD.

No portion of this website can be copied without written permission from Bram Smith

Looking for that extra Cash

2009-08-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hi I have a couple of sites that might interest you.
They all have a surf number that gets allotted to you and each site pays you for visiting them. Between 5bucks and 100 bucks, By the way these bucks are all american.
Don't worry this is not a scam they are all legit

http://cashmails.org/pages/index.php?refid=douglaspro

http://mailsmoney.net/pages/index.php?refid=douglaspro

http://coast-mail.com/pages/index.php?refid=douglaspro

http://www.promails.org/pages/index.php?refid=douglaspro

http://www.christine.sportron.co.za

10000 clients guaranteed

2009-06-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Join me in this mind blowing money making website it will blow your mind too the way this system works for me. I already have 11000 Double opt-in prospects on ny downline What does your network look like, Do you know how much money you could be making.
On the 1st July I will receive another 10000 double opt-in targeted prospects to my site,sound good?
Go to this link and learn more you wont be sorry!
Ha HA Ha so I thought it was a great site
Bad news for me good news for them the minute they saw how the site would make them money they up and raise the price on the registration and not to mention the fact that they screw up and we have to pay. Sorry Paul Birdsall. I will definately not promote your site again. Your empty promise to us about only having to pay just under $10 was a lie you screwed up and now you want us to pay an extra 30 bucks every month. I think from now on I will promote your inexperience and try to save the people some cash they do'nt deserve to lose

www.StreamlineFunnelSystem.com/?ID=2449,

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com,www.streamlinefunnel/System.com/?ID=2449

Fast 7 day Diet

2009-06-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

I have just been so pleased. I really have changed the entire way myself and my husband eats. I have lost 40 lbs and my husband has lost 60 lbs by incorporating ideas and cooking tips from the book into our lifestyle. A box of sugar-free chocolate fudgecicles lasts us over 2 weeks in the house now because we just do not feel the need to constantly be snacking. I wish I had taken before pictures of us but I just didn't believe the change would be so drastic! We have truly changed our eating habits for life and we will both be able to become Police Officers as we hoped thanks to our new physical abilities due to the weight loss and exercise. We were quite worried that we would never be able to reach the standards Police Dept set for physical testing, now we are ready to go!! Thanks so much for your book, it is wonderful.--Jeannine Sander
If you would like to know more follow link.
Click below
http://von0912.20bucks.hop.clickbank.net

Money Maker

2009-06-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

IS OUR ECONOMY MAKING IT HARD FOR YOU TO SURVIVE?
Everyone is struggling. It is only getting worse. Our unique concept and approach helps ordinary people fight inflation and create a second income which continues to grow. You don't need to:
Sell
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Invest money up front
Risk a cent
Download a free report that distils 13 years of research and experience to reveal a unique system that creates continuous wealth for you, 24/7. Its all automated to do 99% of the work for you. It's already set up, you just need to register for free. You have nothing to lose. Join now. Its free.
This is an opportunity for all South Africans. Dont wait. Go to this link below now
www.BeMotivatedToday.net/17826
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http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

Tarzan Jokes/Tarzan and Jane

2009-06-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, And during her questions about his life , she asked him how he had sex?'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.Jane explained to him what sex was.Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'Horrified Jane said, ' Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly.'She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.'Here' she said,pointing to her privates, 'you must put it in here.'Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood,stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch !Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.Eventually she managed to grasp for air and screamed ' What did you do that for ?'Tarzan replied, 'Check for squirrel.'

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com/

Miracles do exist

2009-06-25T01:13:00.000-07:00

A little girl named Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.
She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.
Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door.
She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!
'And what do you want?' the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,' he said without waiting for a reply to his question.
'Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,' Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. 'He's really, really sick...and I want to buy a miracle.'
'I beg your pardon?' said the pharmacist.
'His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?'
'We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the pharmacist said, softening a little.
'Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.'
The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a miracle does your brother need?'
' I don't know,' Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money.'
'How much do you have?' asked the man from Chicago
'One dollar and eleven cents,' Tess answered barely audibly.
'And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.'
'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. '
He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.'
That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.
Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.
'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost..one dollar and eleven cents....plus the faith of a little child.

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

Corruption

2009-06-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

I think this is worth storing in your cell phone - with a small effort from each of us we can make a big dent in corruption!The number is 0800 203 712 I had the honour of being stopped by SAP in a "roadblock" yesterday afternoon on the R562 traveling from Noordwyk towards Blue Hills just before the R55 intersection. My car license disc had expired but I had my new one as I had just been to the licensing department to renew it.I wasn't given an opportunity to show it but was asked for "coldrink" money by the policeman concerned.I declined to assist him and called the Anti Corruption Hotline. His colleagues decided to get involved and with much shouting, finger pointing and gesticulating at me told me just to go. I refused to be intimidated despite their best efforts and explained that I was waiting for the Anti Corruption Unit who had promised to send a car immediately. I noted that none of the people doing the stopping carried any form of paperwork so I am not sure how they would have actually issued the fine they used as their bargaining tool.In the 20 minutes I was parked on the side of the road they did not stop any other vehicles. When I was first stopped there was a car per person. None of them (6 in total on my side of the road) were wearing their name badges.They realised I was not going anywhere and so decided to pack up their little scam and move to pastures green. When the Anti Corruption Unit contacted me I provided them with the license plate number of their marked minibus and have been given the investigating officers details and promised that I would be given feedback. The Anti Corruption Unit were great and the call centre did call me back with progress on where their response vehicle was, etc.My mother experienced a similar situation outside Leeukop Prison the day before, again with SAP and not Metro. When she refused to pay the coldrink money and asked to be given the promised R700 fine she was just waved off.If everybody keeps the Anti Corruption number handy and reports any similar incidents we can collectively help stamp out this practice.*The number is 0800 203 712*.

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

Recession is here

2009-06-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

What If You Could Build A FortuneWorking Only 10 Minutes A Day?
Interested then follow this link:
www.StrealineFunnelSystem.com/?ID=2449

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

coloureds weren't involved

2009-06-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Why coloureds can't be terrorists: by MARK LOTTERING

- Ons is altyd laat. We would have missed all 4 flights. - We talk loud and would bring attention to ourselves. - Met free kos en cooldrink oppie plane, we'll sommer forget why we're there. - We praat with our hands, so we'll continually be putting the weapons down. - We would ALL want to fly the freaking plane, ending in a fight with each other. - We'll sommer argue and start a fight in the terminal before we even get on the plane & one of us is bound to say out loud: 'Gaan kak man! Dan hijack jy die fokken plane alleen jou naai!!'
- Ons kannie 'n secret hou nie. We would have told everyone a week before doing it, telling them: 'Moet vir niemand se nie, ho!'
- We would have insisted that the plane fly past Strandfontein Pavillion. - We would have all lined up to get our photograph taken by one of the hostages. - When we enter the cockpit, we would have used the intercom system for a karaoke session, with one poes trying to sing 'I did it my way'. - We would first rob every one of their Ray-Bans, cellphones and gold teeth, just before we crash the plane..
- Our whole freaking family plus neighbors would have been at the airport to see us off, crying their eyes out, and your mother saying to the white ou next to her: 'I'm so proud of him. It's the first time he's hijacking a plane!' - We would have dressed like terrorists for our airport go-way clothes: balaclavas, jumpsuits, karate skoentjies, dark glasses, en 'n attitude. - Two of us would have forgotten our passports at home.. - Three of us would have overweight luggage. - All of us would have luggage. - We would have all wanted to watch the in-flight movie first. - Before we went into action, we would have all queued up at the toilet to first gel our hair. - We would have taken the plane for a joyride first, played the music at full blast and try to park the plane somewhere where the chicks could see us....
http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

seven drunken nights Irish Lyrics

2009-06-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

As I come home of Monday night drunk as drunk could be I saw a horse outside me door where my old horse should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be? AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely work horse that me mother did send to me Now its many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but a work horse with a saddle sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily iddle dum. As I come home of a tuesday night drunk as drunk could be I see a coat behind the dorr where my old coat should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be? AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely wool blanket that me mother sent to me now its many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but a blanket with buttons sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum As I come home of a wednesday night drunk as drunk could be I see a pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly explain to me who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be. AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely tin whistle me mother sent to me Now theres many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but a tin whistle with tobacco sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum As I come home of a thursday night drunk as drunk could be I saw two boots under the bed where my old boots should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who owns those boots under the bed where my old boots should be? AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only two geranium pots me mother sent to me Now theres many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but geranium pots with laces sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum as I come home of a friday night drunk as drunk could be I see a head upon the bed where this old head should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be? AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely baby boy me mother sent to me Now theres many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but a baby boy with whiskers sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum As I come home on a Saturday night drunk as drunk could be I spy an arse up in the air where this old arse should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who owns that arse up in the air where this old arse should be AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely football me mother sent to me Now theres many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but a football with a crack sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum as I come home on a sunday night drunk as drunk could be I spy a man atop the wife where this old man should be so I calls me wife and I says to her could you kindly tell to me who is that man atop ye wife where this old man should be? AHH you're drunk you're drunk you crazy old fool you're blind and cannot see tis only a lovely soldier that the goverment sent to me Now theres many a times I travelled a hundred miles or more but an englishmen with a pair of balls sure never did see before oh tiddily idle idle idle tiddily idle dum Thanks to Audrey for these lyrics
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Use auido clip search engines outside the United Stats. I used to use Chinese sites such as Baidu, Sogou, Yahoo China to search audio clips. Your browser maybe ask you to install simplified Chinese character, just ingore it. I always can find tons of English audio clips in those music search engines.
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Seven Drunken Nights Lyrics Lyrics by Irish Music are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, Seven Drunken Nights Lyrics Lyrics by Irish Music are provided for educational purposes only , If you like the song, please buy relative CD.

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

Miss Julie Andrews

2009-06-23T01:50:00.000-07:00

40 Yrs Later: The 7 Children In 'The Sound of Music''The Sound of Music' won the Academy Award for Best Picture of 1965 and is one of the most popular musicals ever produced.
Remember the 7 children of theVonTrapp family?

They were having a reunion after 40 yearsand all were looking healthy and amazingly well...

NOW CURRENTLY...
It wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true... Julie Andrews turned 69 and to commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "The Sound Of Music."
Here are the actual lyrics she used:
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,Bundles of magazines tied up in string,These are a few of my favourite things.Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,These are a few of my favourite things..When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,When the knees go bad,I simply remember my favourite things,And then I don't feel so bad.Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,These are a few of my favourite things.Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,When we remember our favourite things.When the joints ache, When the hips break,When the eyes grow dim,Then I remember the great life I've had,And then I don't feel so bad.
Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.
http://carpentryoil.blogspot.com

Retirement Bonus

2009-06-23T01:46:00.000-07:00

ONE FOR THE OLD DIGGERS RETIREMENT BONUS (If this doesn't make you laugh, you are truly humor impaired!)
The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. 'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam ' .

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AAH the crazy Irish

2009-06-23T01:36:00.000-07:00

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.' He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!' THERE'S MORE... Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. 'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!' IT IS NOT OVER YET... Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'

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would you eat grease

2009-05-13T03:16:00.000-07:00

Hi there the company I work for is airconnected lubricants. I know it might sound like a funny name. But the reason we called it so, is because we supply oils and lubricants to the aviation industry as well as the air industry.

Back to my story did you know that my company supplies food grade lubricants to all major food manufacturers, the type of lubricant we supply is called Shell Cassida Lubricants. These lubricants all bear the Kosher and Halaal stamps of approval across the world.
We supply a Cassida Chain 1000 lubricants that would have to be used by food industry that would manufacture food via chain feeds. Then there is the Cassida CR46 which is an air compressor lubricant for the machines in the food industry that would need air in the process,
Next we have Cassida RLS1 and RLS2 which is a grease used in the food industry this grease is for lightly loaded gear boxes that are grease lubricated, Then there is the Cassida EPS2 grease this is an extreme pressure grease. This grease is recommended for use on plain and rolling element bearings, Joints ,Linkages and slides. it is also recommended for a wide range of applications, including roller element bearings as well as clay.
Then we have the Cassida GL150/GL220/GLGL320 and the GL460 These are lubricants used in enclosed Gearboxes in the food industry, and is also intended for use where Equipment manufactures Food Packaging. These oils are a high performance, anti wear gear lubricant. Specially designed for the lubrication of enclosed gears in the beverage processing industry and the food industry. Now comes the CassidaHF15/HF32/HF46/HF68. These fluids are Hydraulic Fluids. They are a high performance , anti wear multi purpose lubricant used in Hydraulic systems, Hydrostatic gears, plain and anti friction bearings, General purpose lubrication including light duty gearboxes and it is also used as a circulating oil in systems.
Finally we have the Cassida Fluid PL this is a penetrating fluid used where the acces is difficult at lubrication points, All of these products are tasteless and have a neutral odour,
The reason why these lubricants and fluids were designed is because the food industry cant have every item on their agenda of manufacture causing the customers to get sick in cases of contamination by oil that is not edible. Now I dont mean you must go and take a handful of grease and eat it, But the general idea is there that if you accidentally consumed of the grease it would not be harmful to any human or animal
There you have some insight to our products we supply.
I hope this can help anyone looking to buy of these products
If you require any other form of lubricant be it food grade or just normal lubricants. Fell free to leave me a message and i will get back to you
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Roof Erection part 3

2009-05-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.comnow that you have marked out all your large trusses.It is time to start taking them into the house, unfortunately this is not a job for one person.

It might be an option to go to the nearest place where piece labour sits on the street corners.

Hire about 4 strong looking chaps to do the heavy lifting for you.

now you need to get these trusses into position, make sure that the trusses are carried into the house in the proper order otherwise you will have to take the wrong truss out again and bring in the correct one.

Lets say for instance that you have Ten big trusses. The first truss that must go on the wall must be carried in first, lets say A1 the rest of the trusses should be marked with the same letter but a different number. and so you bring the trusses in according to number and letter. This will be indicated on your erection plan by the manufacturer.

now the first truss that should be erected would be A1.

Lift the truss end onto the top of the wall, now you need to push this truss up the wall till the other end clears the wall on the otherside of the house. Dont worry about the truss breaking they are very robust and flexable. now lift the other end onto the other wall under control.

Make sure that somebody is controlling the truss at the apex. Now the truss should be able to hang freely like a pendulum.

On top of the wall you need to have at least 2 guys that are'nt scared of hieghts, one person at iether end of the truss, and each should have a nail belt with claw hamber three inch and four inch nails in their bags and a tape measure and carpenters pencils. one person needs to be on the floor with an extra wall plate with a 4 inch nail driven through it so that it sticks out on the other side. If you have scaffles it would be an aid to erect a 2 metre high tower just below where the truss is to be positioned. one person should climb up on this tower. He will have to assist in the swinging of the truss from upside down to right side up.

Now seeing as we are dealing with a tiled roof you would have to cut branderings for the men on the wall 2x2m sections each. Now the man that is at the apex of the truss will have to lift the apex up to the man on the scaffle, once he has hold of it let another person get on the scaffle with him, because they are going to have to control the truss in the upright position, until the men on the ends have had a chance to centralise the truss on the wall. make sure that the truss is of the same measurement on bothe walls and that the truss is lying exactly in the centre of the outermost mark that you have marked on the wall, Pleasre make sure you check the measurment of both men on the wall until you are sure that they can read a tape measure correctly. Not all people have the skill to read a tape measure. satisfied with the result write it in your book, Now you should brace the truss onto the wall plate, Level the truss with a spirit level and once level nail the brace into the wall plate and then into the truss.

Now go to the last truss in the group and follow the procedure above, be sure to get the truss properly aligned. Okay finished bracing now in the apex of these 2 trusses you should drive a nail in they should stand up straight. fasten a fish line to the one nail and then to the other nail you should have a clothes line now,between 2 trusses. This is going to be your guide for the alignment of your other eight trusses in the group.

Now you can start to lift all the other trusses into place, but dont put them on their marks you need to stack them against the other trusses that have been braced because if you dont you wont have space to work with the rest of the trusses. when you stack be sure to stand the trusses up as straight as possible against the other truss. Remember these things are heavy and to have eight other trusses leaning heavily on one truss could break your braceand all your hard work would have been for nothing.

Until next time then.

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oilaway: how to erect a roof

2009-05-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

oilaway: how to erect a roof

roof erection part 2

2009-05-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

Hi now that you have all your trusses and material that gets supplied with your roofing layout. You are ready to get started.
I hope THAT YOU HAVE HAD SOMEBODY GO UP ON THE WALL AND CLEAN MOST OF THE MORTAR OFF THE TOP OF THE BRICKS. AND SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO GO AND NAIL DOWN THE WALL PLATE ALL ROUND THE PERIMETER OF THE HOUSE.

IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE A NOTE BOOK WHERE YOU CAN WRITE DOWN YOUR MEASUREMENTS IN.

NOW MEASURE THE HOUSE DOWN THE LENGHT OF IT ON THE INSIDE WALL. GET THE TOTAL LENGTH AND DIVIDE THIS MEASUREMENT BY 2. MAKE A MARK ON THE BRICKS WITH A CARPENTES PENCIL JUST BELOW THE WALL PLATE.BE SURE TO MEASURE THE OTHER LONGEST WALL NOW AS WELL AND DIVIDE THIS MEASUREMENT BY 2. ALSO MAKE A MARK UNDER THE WALL PLATE ON THE BRICK. REMEMBER THIS RULE OF THUMB IF YOU MEASURE THE WALL FROM EAST TO WEST, THEN THIS SAME WAY OF MEASURING WOULD APPLY TO THE OTHER WALL.
THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT BUILDERS ARE ONLY HUMAN AND IF YOURHOUSE IS OUT OF SQUARE THEN YOU AT LEAST HAVE A STARTING POINT WHICH IS FAIRLY ACCURATE.

RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE YOUR HOUSE HALVED BY MEASUREMENT.
COUNT YOUR MAIN TRUSSES THE BIGGEST ONES, DIVIDE THESE BY 2 AS WLL.THEN DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF ROOF YOU HAVE IE TILE OR CHROMADECK.THIS STYLE WOULD DETERMINE YOUR TRUSS SPACING. TILE ROOF TRUSSES ARE NORMALLY MAXIMUM 750MM CENTRES
AND CROMADECK TRUSSES ARE NORMALLY MAXIMUM 1150MM CENTRES APART. BUT THIS MEASUREMENT IS NORMALLY ACCORDING TO THE ROOFING ENGINEERS SPECIFICATIONS. IF THIS MEASUREMENT IS NOT ON PLAN ASK THE ENGINEER TO FURNISH THIS INFORMATION.

NOW I AM GOING TO USE TILE TRUSS SPACING AS AN EXAMPLE ONLY BUT THIS WOULD APPLY TO THE OTHER STYLE TRUSSES AS WELL
GO BACK TO THE MEASUREMENT ON YOUR WALL AND DIVIDE THE 750MM MEASUREMENT BY 2 THAT IS 375MM MEASURE FROM YOUR MARK ON THE WALL 375MM AND MARK THE WALL CLEARLY SO YOU CAN SEE IT WHEN YOU STAND ON THE FLOOR DO THE SAME MEASUREMENT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MARK. MARK OUT 750MM FROM THAT MARK UNTIL ALL TRUSSES ARE ACCOUNTED FOR.

REMEMBER WHATEVER YOU DO ONE THE ONE SIDE OF YOUR HOUSE YOU REPEAT THE PROCEDURE ON THE OTHER SIDE.(DO EXACTLY THE SAME)

NOW YOU HAVE MARKED WHERE THE TRUSSES WOULD STAND MORE OR LESS YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE SLIGHT ADJUSTMENTS TO YOUR MEASUREMENTS DEPENDING ON THE HOUSE BEING SQUARE.
NOW YOU NEED TO MEASURE THE SHORT WALLS OF THE HOUSE,DIVIDE THIS MEASUREMENT BY 2 AS WELL. THIS MEASUREMENT WILL BE THE MEASUREMENT YOU USE TO PLACE YOUR TRUSSES ACCURATELY.

NOW GO TO YOUR BIGEST TRUSSES AND MEASURE THEM ONE BY ONE.
IF YOU LOOK AT THE TRUSS , WHERE THE TOP AND BOTTOM OF THE TRUSS INERSECT THINK OF A RIGHT ANGLE TRIANGLE. JUST MEASURE THE BASE OF THE TRUSS AND GET YOUR CENTRE NOW MARK THE MEASUREMENT THAT YOU DIVIDED FROM YOUR SHORT WALL ON THE TRUSS FROM THE TRUSSES CENTRE TO THE OUT SIDE. FROM THE CENTRE OF THE TRUSS MARK THE OTHER SIDE TO THE OUTSIDE AS WELL. REPEAT THIS PROCEDURE WITH ALL THE BIG TRUSSES UNTIL ALL OF THEM HAVE BEEN MARKED.

PART THREE WILL FOLLOW IN DUE COURSE IF YOU NEED MORE LEAVE ME A POST
HAPPY ROOFING

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how to erect a roof

2009-05-05T14:09:00.000-07:00

first rule of Roofing fimiliarise yourself with the terms of the truss manufacturers.
1) wall plate. this is the plank that gets nailed down on top of the wall, on the inner skin of the house, flush with the edge of the brick. this planks dimensions are 38mmx76mm. the plank must be nailed down all the way around the houses outer walls. you never nail this plank on inner wall namely single brick walls. the only time that you would nail the wall plate to an inner wall is if it is a bearer wall for a cantilever truss. Remmember trusses must never rest on inner walls unless they have been designed for this purpose.
2) bottom chord. this is the bottom of the truss and is the section that will lay on the wall plate.
3) Top chord this is the section that runs up at an angle to the pitch/top of the roof.
4) king and queen posts. these are the timber sections that stand up straight tying the top and bottom chords together.
5) webbs these are the timber sections that run at an angle from queenpost to kingpost and strenghten the entire truss
6) most important rule of roofing always make shure that all trusses are standing straight lined up and plumb. Plumb meaning level from top to bottom. you can use a spirit level for this purpose or you can use a plumb bob, this is a metal weight with a sharp point hanging on fishing line or string fastened from the top of the truss.
7) sort your trusses when you get you erection plan from your roofing engineers. make sure that you have all material that is due to you according to your invoice, ask if the price you pay includes engineers inspection on completion and certificate for the structure of the trusses, because you wont get a residence certificate without it.
make sure that you have all the trusses according to your erection specifications.

That is part one. If you would like to get further information about this procedure please post a request and i will furnish you with the relevant information at no cost to you at all.

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want to save money on diy projects

2009-05-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

http://carpentryoil.blogspot.comPeople are always trying to save money. Well with our present financial climate, who could blame you. I currently work for an oil distribution company, namely shell products are sold by our team.

I have always admired the South Africans. They are real go getters. If the wife asked the Husband to do something, he would answer no problem, or sorted. Well the buck stops here, you husbands and wives are welcome to ask me roofing, carpentry construction refridgeration airconditioning and oil related questions, and i will try to guide you in the right direction and as cheaply as possible, yes you can believe it. I have been trained in all these fields, and i am a qualified tradesman, I had various lucrative company's however as all things in life change, so did my needs. I needed to work for a company that offers competition, and that is why I now work for Shell.
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